GENRE: Gay Fantasy Erotic Romance
LENGTH: 9,412 words
RATING:

Rex Devious -- Dr. Devious to meddlesome do-gooders everywhere -- can go toe-to-toe with superheroes without blinking an eye. So picking out a Christmas present for his new boyfriend should be no problem. After all, he and Sanjay seem perfect for each other. But with a terrible track record for finding gifts that won’t scare his potential partners away, Rex is paralyzed with insecurity.

Until, of course, he decides to change tactics. Instead of having to pick out that perfect present, why not just destroy Christmas altogether? It’s perfect, and definitely the Devious thing to do! But with his nemeses -- and perhaps his conscience -- trying to stop him from ruining the beloved holiday, can he really become the supervillain who stole Christmas?

EXCERPT:
Note: may contain sexually explicit scenes of a homoerotic nature.

Sanj laughed. “I forget that you’ve never really worked in an office,” he said. “But it’s ... I’m not even sure that anyone likes it. Everyone drinks too much except the people who don’t like drinking and take pictures to remind people of how stupid they were acting for the next year. There’s terrible cookies and a tray of cheese and crackers and ...”

“You’re not exactly selling it,” Rex said. It sounded like a nightmare, a torment of fake smiles and repressed frustration.

“But it’s also that feeling,” Sanj said. “Of Christmas. Of childhood and presents and magic and wonder. That must be why people get so upset about it. They remember the Christmases when they were young and it was all about them, and then they see where they are now and ... well ...”

Rex had a sudden vision of his own childhood. Christmas in the castle had always been a grand affair, decorations hung from every window and sconce. And Rathfeld, the butler, standing next to a tree that seemed to take up the entire great room, stoic face betraying just the hint of a smile. And the gifts. His mothers always got him the best gifts. There was the year of the Super Magnet that he used to erase the data on all the computers at his boarding school. He recalled his mothers smiling. And the year of the Freeze Ray he had used to turn the pool into a block of ice to get out of swimming lessons.

The nanobots are present in sufficient quantity to deploy, Audrey said, snapping Rex out of his reveries.

“Do you have fond Christmas memories, then?” Rex asked.

“I’ll tell you sometime when I’m much less sober than I am now,” Sanj said, and they both laughed, leaning against each other, faces close, breath hot in the chill air.

Deploy, Rex thought as he leaned farther forward, his lips finding Sanjay’s, his eyes closing.

Deployment commencing, Audrey said, but Rex was hardly paying attention. Much more urgent was the tongue slipping into his mouth, the hand resting on his hip, the sudden painful heat that seared its way through his entire body.

I’m detecting a deviation from protocol, Audrey said. It pulled at the corner of Rex’s mind, but he didn’t stop, didn’t want to stop the way Sanjay’s hands had moved around to his back, to his ass. There was a gasp from nearby, and Rex felt a swell of worry. They were in public, after all, and as much as he wanted this to continue, he knew they couldn’t ... not here.

He broke the kiss, pulling back and -- and what the fuck?

I’m detecting a deviation from protocol, Audrey said.

Rex blinked. She wasn’t kidding. The entire tree lot was lit up. Not with rapidly disintegrating Christmas trees, though. He realized that the gasp had nothing to do with him and Sanjay making out among the trees. No, it was at the brilliant light displays going on in each and every tree present. Somehow the nanobots were ...

Instead of deconstructing the trees at a prodigious rate, as intended, the nanobots seem to be slowly eating the organic material and transforming the power into luminescence.

They were glowing. The entire lot was glowing with hundreds of millions of nanobots flickering like fireflies on the branches, among the needles. Rex stared, saw everyone around him doing the same. It was ... magical.

“But ... how?” Rex whispered. There was no way that his protocols could have been that far off. They were devouring the trees, yes, but would they complete their job in time?

According to my calculations, the trees will be completely digested about a week after Christmas, leaving no waste or mess. The bots seem to be programmed to self-destruct at the stroke of midnight, giving off small puffs of light.

Fireworks for New Years. Great.

And I’m getting an incoming message from Tech Knight. Ey says, “I fixed your little nanobots for you. No need to thank me.”

Tech Knight. Figured. Of course Metro City’s resident supernerd would stick eir nose into his plans. Rex turned to Sanjay, saw the smile spread across his face.

“It’s ... perfect,” Sanj said.

Rex sighed, shook his head, and wrapped his arms around Sanjay again. It was beautiful, Rex had to admit, and it did mean that no one was paying any attention as Rex leaned back in for another kiss.